Not By the Color of Your Skin

In the early 80's I was in my early 20's.  Old enough to have read about Rosa Parks in history class, heard about Martin Luther King Jr. on the evening news, lived thru school bussing although it did not affect my school district, and watched every episode of the television mini series 'Roots' which made me cry.  But it was a moment in 1981, the black/white thing, racism,  got real for me.  This was not a book I was reading, the evening news or a prime time show.  I was waiting to purchase a Coke and a hot dog smothered in homemade chilli, simmering in a crock pot on the counter of a Mom and Pop gas station, convience store, outside a small town in South Carolina. I was last in a short line, behind a white man, a white woman and in front of us all a slight young black man, about my age at the time I think.  I barely caught the cashier out of the corner of my eye wave the young man aside but  I can still hear her voice in my mind, so flat and cold "wait", she said to him, or in his general direction, he shuffled to the right, eyes on his shoes.  I was puzzled.  He must want a lot of hot dogs so she is gonna cash us out first I reasoned to myself.  The line went fast, my turn. I looked at him and said,  "You go ahead and go. I want a hot dog too". He did not look up, just mumbled something about 'she' and motioned me ahead. She said something like 'he knows' .  Which made no sense to me at all.  I made my purchase and moved slowly on the plain concrete floor towards the wooden double doors with layers of green chipped paint and that thick metal sceeen over the pane of plate glass you do not see any more,   determined to figure this out. Something was just not right.  Turns out the only thing that young man purchased was a pack of cigarretts.  I got weak, and felt kinda sick.  I had an overwhelming desire to apologize to him but he was gone.  Walked lightening fast right passed me, left the worn wooden doors swinging.  I will never be able to wrap my mind around how in my United States of America, Land of the free, Home of the Brave, the great melting pot, if your not Native American you are from somewhere else, racism was ever accepted and apparently so even in 1981.  Today is the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr's ' I Have a Dream' speech.  So much to think about.  Hope you have a great day- judged not by the color of your skin. kisses