Keeping up with Friends

Happy crispy cool Thursday afternoon.  Several days ago, before this last weekend, actually the middle of the week, last week, I was hanging out in mid afternoon having a cold one with one of my girlfriends in our, just outside the city limits, corner ‘meet and greet’.  She commented on not having been in the area for a while and was having fun catching up with familiar faces.  I commented back that she should commend me for having kept up with her over the last few years as it was not always easy.  This received a smile and giggle from her as she agreed and related she was glad we had made the effort.  That got me to thinking about how it does take some effort to maintain a friendship or bare minimum a reliable open path of communication. I have observed thru the years how most groups of friends tend to have an unofficial ‘social planner’ that has all the phone numbers, email addresses and is on the mostly reliable gossip chain to hold them together.  My high school class started getting together once a year over the same weekend sometime after our 20 year reunion. I love them all so much and to know we have that weekend saved each year to catch up with each other has turned into a priceless gift.  One of my very special friends I knew from my church youth group was lost to me for over 20 years. She found me on facebook thru one of my children.  We have vowed to never lose each other again as we have way too much history between us.  You know we feel that ‘family’ best friend forever bond.  I guess things that truly matter and those ones that have a special place in our hearts are worth the effort, worth the extra moment it takes to place that call, write a letter, send an email or call out a posse to maintain, encourage, or just be available for what friends do best.  I am so thankful for all those I am privileged to call my friends, cousins, sister and brother, and adult children included. My BFF from high school, Ruthann and I used to spend probably way too much time in her bathroom trying out makeup and such.  There was a decoupage plaque, her very crafty Mom had made, hanging on the wall opposite the toilet, that I used to read over and over “A FRIEND IS NOT A FELLER WHO IS TAKEN IN BY SHAM. A FRIEND IS ONE WHO KNOWS OUR FAULTS AND DOSEN’T GIVE A DAMN”.  Hope you have lots of damn good friends.  kisses 

Common Sense

Ruthann and I knew of each other since she started at Flour Bluff which I think was around 3rd grade or so but it was junior high, the Summer between 7^th and 8^th grade more specifically, before we became connected at the hip, BFF, forever soul mates, die on the same day and all of this is how I feel about her.  You will have to ask Ruthann what her take is on our relationship.  I say that as we have always been very different people, in how we look at life, deal with romantic relationships, polar opposites when it comes to child rearing, how we deal with adversity, moral and religious beliefs are barely even discussed we so differ, and even the way we spend our leisure time, unwind down time, fun and party time for us becomes a source of frustration as neither one of us has the same ideas about what that entails.  So why did we ever become so close in that Summer of 1974?   The last day of the school year, Ruthann, one of the most popular girls in Flour Bluff and by far the most entertaining walked right up to me, the biggest nerd ever and said she was spending the Summer at her Grandparents house right down the road from me and would I like to hang out some.  Duh!  What was she thinking?  I was not in the popular group.  Anyways to get back to why we hit it off, she might have a different story, actually I am sure she will but to my recollection it was her PawPaw.  Well, mostly her PawPaw but really her whole family, they were our glue.  I fell in love with them, all of them and they seemed to accept me, it was understood Ruthann and I were connected, so I was in!   The one attribute that Ruthann and I both shared, the one that kept up the witty banter, that her Grandfather encouraged and helped foster in both of us and has served us well thru all sorts of trials, tribulations and yucky stuff was/is good old common sense.  I could write forever about common sense.  It saddens me and it is frightening to think of my grandchildren having to go to public schools where common sense is a foreign concept.  No one takes responsibility or is taught how to accept it-every thing is a matter for the police, and never is any common sense used to interpret or apply rules that were meant to protect not ruin.  I know life is full of change but I think some things are best kept and fostered-like good old common sense.  Sure wish PawPaw was still around he would know just what to say, as he strides thru his wooden screen back door, just home from doing errands around the Bluff, holler out to Ruthann, “Baby Doll, I think I have your new platform leather shoes about broken in.”   So it goes, how I remember life in my small world.   Hope you understand.  kisses 

DNA

I often marvel at how some attributes, emotional responses, and just how we look at life in general seem to be born in us.  Maybe it is because I was adopted I spend a little more time noticing this sort of thing.  Certainly a great deal of our personalities come from our environment, birth order, family dynamics etc but I believe some things are just DNA or spirit stuff from past lives-if you believe in that.  I am not exactly sure how to explain it except that certain things are not taught and cannot be changed in us.  It just is what it is.   My Dad used to tell me a story about how not long after they adopted me he took me fishing.  I was around 2 years old.  He said he was doing quite well fishing from a pier and I got very happily excited each time he caught a fish.  When it was time to bring up the stringer and start preparing them to eat I started crying “Oh, Daddy!   Your not gonna kill them are you?”  My Dad said he felt so bad upsetting me.  He tried to explain how we catch fish to eat and this was okay.  He said I was so heart broken and concerned for the fishes’ welfare he ended up letting them all go.  I have no memory of this but I know to this day if I can put an insect outside rather than kill it I do so.  I hate snakes so much I scream and run when I even think I see one but I do not kill them.  I carry a can or two of cat food in my truck at all times just in case I happen upon a starving cat.  Our family dogs thru the years were usually rescues from the side of the road.  Just one of those things I guess. Have a great day.  kisses 

Grey Day

This week to me has seemed so dreary.  It is 11 am according to the digital clock sitting on my kitchen counter but the view from my windows would speak more like 5 pm.  I guess I call these grey days.  Why is it when skies are dark in the middle of the day, the sound of thunder and heavy raindrops interrupt my thoughts and the temperature is heavy sweater or warm jacket chilly I think of all the yard work I could be doing if the weather was not so yucky?  One of those shrug your shoulders kind of ‘I don’t know’ things like why is it the only time I jump in my truck to find the gas gauge on empty is when I am in life or holy cow, late late for an important date mad crazy rush?  No matter I guess.   I hope you have a great grey day.  I am gonna go walk around my yard and contemplate my life so far.  kisses  

Bright Side of the Road

It is feeling like Texas January weather to me, heat on at night and heavy sweater or jacket on if you are spending time outside in the day.  So nice when the sun is shinning bright and the gulf breeze is taking a break.  Life for me has been full of lots of changes in the last couple of years and I am learning so much about all sorts of things.  I kind of pride myself in being careful with my finances but I am seeing I could have been way better thru the years and am now learning how little I can get by on.  I always send money to the food bank when they send those little envelopes especially around the holidays but am now realizing I could do better.  There are people struggling all around us that have never struggled like this before and asking for assistance is almost unthinkable for them. There must be ways we can help each other and still keep our pride.  I am all into the barter system.  I am so fortunate for good friends and family that watch out for me which is what is so important during tough times-that we all watch out for each other.  Have a sunshine great weekend, keep warm and stay on the bright side of the road.  If we all share the load bad times will go by fast and maybe not seem so bad after all. kisses 

Little Sisters

1970 something Flour Bluff High Little Sisters

It is a chilly, winter Thursday day.  I love chilly days.  Feels good to pull on soft warm comfy clothes, curl up with hot chocolate and take a minute to think sweet thoughts.  When I was growing up there were several of us that had little sisters the same age that were best friends.  We fittingly called them ‘the little sisters’ and I still do to this day.  My younger sister will always be ‘little sis’ to me.  I can remember having some terrible fusses with her when we were really young but somewhere around the time I got into junior high school that all changed.  By the time we were both in high school we were actually friends going to some of the same Friday night beach parties and covering for each other if one got stranded out a little after curfew. I really liked the other little sisters too and have tried to somewhat keep up with them thru the years.  Cool thing is all the ‘little sisters’ actually turned out really well and kind of showed up us older siblings in some areas of relationships, career and general life stuff.  Maybe they were smart enough to watch and learn and not repeat us older siblings silly mess ups.  I know I am so proud of them and glad they always greet me as if I am someone important, always gracious and non judgmental.  It is not easy being the oldest.  Who do we look up to?  Who are our role models?  We stumble along trying to act like we have it all together and of course take care of everyone since we are the oldest.  It is usually us oldest sibs that take care of our parents as they age.  Where is the rulebook for that?  Some subjects are way to difficult for us to even think about much less deal with and asking for help is not in our vocabulary-after all we are the oldest.  I am so thankful my younger brother and sister have always been supportive of me even when I get it a little wrong.  Hope you think some sweet thoughts today and if you are younger give your older sib a break and know that we are just trying to take care…..of everybody, it’s all we know how to do.   kisses 

Liquor is the Devil

My siblings and I sometimes shake our heads and exchange words about how our parents seemed so different from the rest of both of their families.  My parents did not drink alcohol in any form or fashion.  My Mom would not even be in any close proximity or allow us kids to be where alcohol was being sold or consumed especially if she observed any manner of jolly boisterous merriment.  I always felt like she seemed to be afraid for us like seeing our relatives slightly tipsey might somehow give us nightmares.  I always felt cheated we had to miss all the fun.  Mom is still living but I have never asked her about why she held such a strong conviction.  Both my parents came from family’s that to me seemed like pleasant social drinkers.  I truly do not remember ever knowing or hearing about any one of them having a problem with alcohol so no ideas as to why we were brought up to believe alcohol was ‘the devil’.  I do not think us kids carried on their ‘alcohol is the devil’ belief but it sure made for some interesting fun at family get togethers.  Dad ever the diplomat had to balance his absolutely no alcohol policy and still have some quality time with his family and remain married to my Mother.  I kinda wonder if Dad would have joined in at least a little, you know in moderation of course, if Mom would have allowed it. Family dynamics!  Here’s to my children, no telling what they say about their Dad and I.  kisses