Feel Real

Today I will feel what I feel and try to keep it real.  I think so much of what we feel is a decision we make in how we look at things.  Since I was old enough to listen to adults talk I was always perplexed at those that said, usually over and over, “I have lots of problems”.   I don’t think I have ever had a problem.  I was taught early on that God loves us and even though some times bad things happen it is all part of life and something good can come out of even the worst stuff.  Cause, well, Jesus loves us and every little thing will be all right, simple as that.  I have recently let myself question some of  those things I tried to question as a kid and was told “Steffie, stop being so rebellious.”   “Steffie, Don’t question God!”.   Well I do have lots of questions cause lots of stuff just does not make sense to me or it seems just really mean hearted or unfair and gives me that yucky down deep feeling that it is just not right.  Like, ‘God is in control’.   If that is true then I do not think he is doing a very good job of it.  Just common sense or if you have ever watched the 10 o’clock news how could you not question that statement.   Another one is the no sex before marriage rule.  Like really?  Talk about a man’s world.  I wanna know what I am spending the rest of my life with and while sex is not everything it is really important. I think this rule was most certainly made up by men with very small penises or homosexual.   When God said go into all the world and preach the Gospel I do not think that was a business model to have Americans with real jobs support ‘missionaries’ that go to Peru and dress the natives in Wal-Mart clothes, pump them with our medication and tell them that what they have been doing for the last thousand years is all wrong.  America has been around for only 200 years and look what we have accomplished-so much better than jungle natives… yeah, right, whatever!  I just don’t buy it.    This next one really gets my goat ‘God never gives you more than you can handle’.  Is that even in the Bible?  I have heard that statement said during horrifying situations by well meaning otherwise nice people.  Can I be the only one that realizes what that statement implies?      So that I guess is how I feel today.  Tomorrow is another day.  Since I don’t make the rules....Today I will feel what I feel.  kisses         Photography by Michael Jameson