Don’t Pick Up Hitchhikers

 Good morning from beautiful New Mexico. Here I am on my daughter’s brown sofa mulling over my future.  Currently things have not gone according to plan and major adjustments must be made.  Last year at this time I was working full time, loving my job and life in general.  Looking forward to retiring in 4 or 5 years. Now I am on continuous oxygen and unable to work or even drive. Well, I might could drive but I chose not to as to error on the side of caution. I find my thinking is sometimes somewhat wonky. 

Apparently I have long haul COVID-19. This is what Doc’s tell me.  My lungs were damaged and it will take a few years for them to heal.  So far my health just gets worse so I am about ready for the “getting better” part to start.  I’m sure I’m getting better I just don’t feel it yet.  While I’m getting better I cannot go into a holding pattern. Life goes on and I want to make the best of it. 

I never thought I would be one of those old people on the portable oxygen commercials.  Just walking around the house with my 20 foot long tube is an adventure.  I look back sometimes to see a trail of hitchhikers the oxygen hose has picked up.  Kinda funny except every little thing causes me to be more short of breath so putting those things back is difficult.  Like it wears me out and I have to sit down and rest awhile.  Good Grief!!   I have got to get better.  

Who wants to be my driver?  I figure I will need a few so I don’t wear anyone out.  I have a car!   

Life is full of change. So it goes. kisses

steffie

Hand Out/Hand Up

I Made It !!

Happy Sunday, church day, first day of the week day. I am sitting on my brown sofa looking out my front door. Grass is green, trees are full of new leaves and if I lean way back a glimpse of my Alovera Cactus that froze this Winter is blooming. 

This is the last Sunday of my 50’s. Last month I looked it up and the article read 60 starts ‘elderly’.  Ohhh the dread. How could I be this old? Then I thought of Tom and Brenda and Robert and so many other friends gone too soon. I think of them often. Maybe too often but such is the life of someone who lives in their head. 

Just last week I paused to give an 18 wheeler trucker extra room to make a turn on a narrow rural road. The driver threw me a big wave and I burst out ugly crying. I was not expecting all that emotion but Tom drove 18 wheelers and I guess I wished it was him waving at me. He was all heart that guy. 

My sweet friend Brenda will forever dance in the moonlight of a beach bonfire in my mind. And not a week goes by something doesn't happen that I would love to share with my Robert. Dorinda, she called us birthday twins. Laurie and I drinking peppermint tea in her last days. Sigh ~So many more. 

God knows how many days we have but we do not. So I’m gonna keep making plans and dread elderly NO more. After all, I made it!! 

Time marches on and so it goes. kisses